Being in a little bit weird mood today I found myself in making some sort of attempts to understand the meaning of the life. Sometimes it can happen and then being stuck in the middle of nowhere you look around to see someone's hand streching to help you and serving the answers for the most ever difficult questions in the silver plate and you fail to see it.  Because nobody will ever do it for you. Because nobody is going to live your life. And you are the one responsible for every moment of it and what you will be thinking of in the last second of your life.

Example

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. [Gunshot] And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. [Gunshot] Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie, and Janie. And Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday.